A Dick With A Mind Of Its Own by A. Puerto

“My dick has a mind of its own.”
What an excuse for a lack of accountability
Per frequency of use –
A dick with a mind of its own

If my dick had a mind of its own,
It would be able to tell the temperature 
It would be able to tell me that I’m cold
Or that it’s cold
It would be able to wrap around my thigh,
Or your thigh, or just conserve its own heat
Hot dick, cold dick, trick or treat?

It would be like a tentacle,
Just moving around on its own,
Dicks might have evolved from tentacles.
And maybe they did have a mind of their own at some time.
Which could have saved my mind,
More than a couple of times,
If I had one in mine. 

It would be able to tell me,
“Whoa, do you really want to do this?”
Or just – “No. Not today. Not me not now.
Not her, or him, nor they or them, 
Not I, the Peen-i,
Abort. Abort.”

A dick with a mind of its own would challenge me;
“Is this really you? Are you really you?”
“Am I really your dick?”
“Are you doing this right?”
“Are you doing me right?”
Bro…

A dick with a mind of its own,
It would wake you up all the time by popping into your dreams
“Hey, guess who’s up.”

A dick with a mind of its own wouldn’t be able to keep secrets
Or if it could it would be, hard
To say the least

A dick with a mind of its own might eventually turn into its own entity, 
Need its own social security number, 
Would anyone have sex with a dick with a social security number?
Some may say that they already have.
A dick with a mind might know…

What if you and your dick didn’t get along,
Would it give you cramps?
Wash itself out on you?
Give you no warning,
Before it starts to do,
What it wants to

A dick with a mind of its own…
Gentleman, a dick with a mind of its own is a vagina.
While we are just dicks, with minds of our own,
Hold yourself accountable for yours;)